Even in Your Head...

Early this morning this photo came across my Facebook newsfeed, shared by others and before I knew it I had shared it as well. The mere act of sharing threw done a cyber gauntlet to myself and my Facebook friends to consider taking this faceless man's challenge; to go twenty hours with out complaint. 

Seems simple, huh? Well, for me, before I made it from my computer to the kitchen for morning coffee I had complained about at least three things...someone left the Keurig empty and I had to wait for water to heat up, the house seemed cold, my foot hurt and uff, don't those people on Facebook that have nothing better to talk about than the President/Westboro Baptist/Common Core/(insert the hot button topic of the day here ). Ouch!

Granted, if you want to loophole it, I had not actually complained. It had all been in my head. Not a word left my mouth. But honestly, a large majority of y personal complaining takes place in my head. It is a pastoral hazard. You really have very few people you can vent to. It is a learned survival skill to complain to the voices in your head.

In taking this challenge seriously I realize the whole point is to exorcise negativity from our personal atmosphere in an effort to allow positivity to flourish. With that ideal in mind it would only make sense that head negativity is a dangerous as voiced negativity to oneself. The effects would be the same. 

We tend to live what we speak into existence. If we speak gloom and doom we will begin to live it. In others word, if we expect the worst we will receive the worst.  Even complainers don't like to be around complainers so a negative attitude can strain relationships. 

But what about keeping it to yourself. My grandma said what all grandmas said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." So wouldn't the simple act of keeping it myself be ok? Complaining builds and magnifies as it is repeated whether it is vocalized or not. As we complain we cut a deep root into our soul that allows the negativity to well up in that rut giving us a river of poisonous negativity to spew the next time we feel the need to complain.

Why do we complain - the word is not acting the way we want it to. Period. Since we are engaging in a social experiment I felt that turning to social network might give us the answers. Looking just at my personal Twitter feed, Instagram account and Facebook newsfeed I have compiled the complaining categories:

• "My relationships are not what I want them to be - I am being treated unfairly or badly."
• "I physically don't feel well."
• "Someone I barely (or don't) know has ticked me off."
• "I don't agree with your politics/theology."
• "I am aggravated with those that don't agree with others Politics/theology."

There are several styles of complaining: 

• The "Look out I am taking no prisoners," rant.
• The "I don't usually do this, but I feel it is my need to warn you," PSA.
• The, "I am not really talking about anyone specific, but if the shoe fits," passive aggressive photo sayings. 
• The ever apologetic, "Sorry I am whining about this but..." style.

I am sure we all can find ourselves somewhere in these profiles. (I know I can.) So now that you know why you are complaining or that , yes you are really complaining, even if it is only in your head. Consider this:

"No one can make you feel inferior with out your consent." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

"No one can tick you off unless you let them." Monica Mowdy

1. Don't play with those that make you angry.

     Seriously, we can't cut ourselves off from the world but we can "unfollow, block or unfriend social media friends that stir up discontent within us. If the one that creates unhappiness for you then minimize your time and remember, their drama is their drama. Their opinion is their opinion It doesn't have to be yours.

2. Truly, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything. Or shoot imaginary daggers within your head at them either.

      I am not advocating a habit of bottling your angst but what I am an am suggesting is that we find a safe place, friend, counselor or laptop and vent. Then be done. Finished. Back away from the baggage.

3. Turn that frown upside down. This is not a "fake it til you make it" suggestion. What I am suggesting is to find something, anything positive in the situation. Really there is something. Even if all you can find is, "I am one minute closer to this situation being over."

So today here I go. No complaining; in my head or other wise. Are you in?