Where Do You Land On the Curve?

It is that time of year when we look to newness; in the year, in our lives in our resolve. Cultures and civilizations have been promising themselves or someone that they would do better in the next year for centuries. In the Medieval era knights took something called a peacock vow reaffirming their vow of chivalry. 




Romans made new year promises to the god Janus and even Babylonians made promises to their god that they would pay all of their debts and return all borrowed items. 

Even we Christians had a practice called Watch Night were prayers are prayed in hopes of a stronger commitment to Christ in the new year.

I struggle with making resolutions because I know myself. I start off by setting the bar so high that defeat is sure and swift. Then at defeat I give up and don't even try to sort of make it happen. According to Forbes Magazine only 8% of those making resolutions keep them. I am not alone. There are a whole bunch of people on my side of the bell curve so why care? But what if... what if we make "keepable" resolutions that really matter (not that losing weight or stopping smoking doesn't matter.)? What if our resolutions were things that mattered mostly to others; those that must share the same space with us? What if we improved who we were by adopting great habits of others?

Here is my list what I feel would change the world;

1. Be Job - Don't whine. Well...Job did whine, or so it seemed. But truthfully he had lost so much and had been inflicted with great horrors. But in the midst of the pain and grief he held fast to faith that God would stay by his side. SO. No more whining. Let's face it, even on our worst day, in the midst of the worst calamity, there are many others that live life in much more severe circumstances. So how would the world look to everyone else if we chose not to whine about our hard bed, our sore back, our hang nail, the fact that our internet is spotty...you get the drift. Know that God has your back and that the worse thing is never the last thing.

2. Be Nehemiah - Everyone had something to say about the destruction of the Temple and had suggestions for how when and the way it would be rebuilt. Nehemiah left comfort and went and rebuilt it.  That Simple. Embrace constructive and drop the criticism part of the equation - Sure there are a lot of things that can be and should be improved upon and untaken. And often it is helpful when we point those out to others. But think of how much more helpful it is to be the catalyst for change by engaging in the improvement ourselves. As a pastor, I am approached quite often with ways I could improve the music of our church, the worship service or even organization areas. I will be the first to say there is room for improvement in all areas of my leadership and the church; much improvement. New ideas are great and God speaks through everyone. But as my Uncle Terry used to say, "If you want to have something to say about the situation be part of the solution." In other words - be constructive.

3. Be the voice crying in the wilderness aka John the Baptizer - John had some harsh words for the slackers. He told them to clean up their act and be ready. But as harsh as this sounds he really was bringing great news. His listeners were desperate for the savior God had promised. John prepared their hearts and minds to receive what God had promised. Do our words prepare people for God? Do we bring hope of rescue for those who hear us speak? Or do we condemn people with our words. Words are powerful. Let them give hope.

4. Be Mary - Either one will do. Mary (the Mom) was earnest and steadfast. She did what she was told to do without wavering and did it to her best ability; even prodding Jesus along in his for miracle at the wedding at Cana. We didn't see Mary say to the angel, "Hey, can we hold this off until after the wedding, I wanna fit in my dress." Or, "Hey, you know that Seraphena girl? She is already married and would love kids." She did as she was told, when she was told. Then there is Mary Magdalene. Her faith to the mission never wavered. She stayed true to listening and learning from her new mentor. She was truly devoted to Jesus, but more importantly to the mission of Jesus. Picture what you know of the scene at the crucifixion. Where was Judas - he had run off to punish himself for his betrayal. Peter? Outside the gate denying even hanging with that Jesus guy. They other guys? Lurking about as well in the shadows. Throughout the whole course the were slow learners and fair weather friends. Well...except for John (the one Christ loved best). So we need to take on the traits of Mary. Do what we are asked. Do it well. Don't quit when it is hard and be faithful in all things. As a friend of mine says, no "half A$$ery wanted here"


5. Be Esther - Esther was called to step in where she didn't belong to stand up for what was right. Although she was a queen in her world it carried very little sway with the one that could make the difference for her people; she was a woman AND a foreigner. She was called to stand up for more people like her. She could have easily kept silent, risked nothing and led a happy life. But she stood up and used her voice and persuasion to be the hero. More importantly she paid attention to timing and approach. We could be more like Esther. Stand up for what is right. Stand up with dignity and humility. Do the right thing for the right reason the right way. Thomas J. Watson, American business man and author put it this way, "If you stand up and be counted, from time to time you may get knocked down. But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again. A man flattened by conformity stays down for good." Be someone's hero!

It's not hard. Just focus on what you have, fix instead of gripe, empower and affirm others, be loyal and stand up for something. Happy New Year  Happy New You!

On the 89th day of Christmas My True Love Gave...

Our crazy family Christmas post melee 

Phew! Christmas is over...or is it???

Present are opened, messes cleaned up, toys put together and gift cards spent.

For me, as a pastor, the whirlwind of the holiday parties, presentations and special services are, indeed, over. As of December 26th it is exactly 53 days until Lent begins with Ash Wednesday. Soother than a trip to Guatemala and a lot of planning along with end of the year reports I get to breathe.

For children, they are counting to the days util next year. For those that can't count it is 363 days until next Christmas.

But truthfully the Christmas Season has just begun. Actually today is the "third day of Christmas." You know of "three french hens" action. (Correct, it isn't the 12 days leading up to Christmas.) The song, a old English folk song, sings of the Day of Christmas and carries on through Epiphany which is January 6th.

But really, should Christmas ever be over? Christmas is when God sent grace to this world. It was a moment of a kept promise of Holy love for His people. Is there really an end to God's saving grace in humanity. I certainly hope not, ever. God acts upon grace every moment of our life and asks us to do the same. God acted we should too. God, our True Love (or should be) gave and gives and will give!

So why does the Christmas season seem to end? We allow it to. We pack it away with our bright shiny star from the top of the tree. Oh we talk a good game. I love on social media this time of year. All the "be nice, be kind, help others" cutesy posts.

But I can't help but wonder when people post sorrow filled pictures of homeless people with catch phrases like "hope for the hopeless," how many people who posted that picture actually have fed the hungry or reached out to the oppressed in an actionable way. I mean welcomed them into their homes. Bought them food or stood next to them and carried on a conversation, carried food for them to their car or home, maybe even sat and ate with them at a shelter.

Speaking hope is great. Talking about love is awesome. Even writing a check to an organization that brings hope or love is not bad. But if we really want Christmas to cover this broken world it is up to us to show the same grace God showed us with the birth of Christ. Show...do...action word.

Go be Christmas.

We All Want Donuts...Don't We?!?!

So.... last night during bible study I got this text.

Apparently Sassy girl was having a rough night - or at least Mom was. Here is the deal. Sassy is a pretty great kid. But she is a toddler; spreading her blue sparkly wings trying out new things, including manipulation tactics. Some work better than others. In no way is her "whiney hiney-ness" a reflection of poor parenting. Sassy's mom and dad are very consistent with guidance and schedules yet flexible enough to allow her some fun. The issue in question...

Sassy was recently introduced to Ralph's - the best donut shop EVER! It is her favorite treat. For her nothing is better than a fresh, sprinkle donut. She often orders coffee to go with her donut. Mom denies that request giving her water instead.


Life is about the donuts; not actual donuts, mind you, but the figurative donuts. Those things in life we want in abundance that we shouldn't have except in moderation or not at all. No matter how good the guidance and parenting is in our lives, we still want what is bad for us and there is often a higher power (human parent or Godly) that will try to stop us from making that choice.

But we humans are persistent. We try manipulation; in Sassy's case, whining. As we get older we try to hide from our parent to enjoy what we want without intervention. Last night we discovered that one of our sons, in an effort to fit in and run with the cool older guys, made some choices that were highly inappropriate. It happens. Teenage boys are teenage boys. He knew these were bad choices. He knew better. But he really wanted to "do it." So he did. His method of operation was not to ask then whine when we said no. He didn't throw a fit or negotiate. He did it anyway and hid his actions a la Adam and Eve. And just like God's first children he was caught. It was bad. as parents we were angry, scared and disappointed. 

Back to Sassy my response to her mama was less than sympathetic. Here is my response....

You see Sassy's Mom tended to be a little dramatic and whiney in her early years. It happens. And as I look at my son's behavior, I realize he didn't do anything that my husband or I would have  done (and probably did do.) But when you are on the "momma" end of the situation other emotions come into play, fear, loss of confidence in our parenting and more importantly, ... control. Sassy's mom, my daughter,  does everything she does as a parent to provide the best atmosphere for that beautiful perfect child. We do everything we do for our children, this wayward son included, to guide him in the way he should go. When our children don't follow the plan as we have set before them, it upsets our parenting mojo. That blueprint me make as we decide how we want the child to be - we input the proper factors and viola - perfect child; except for that pesky fallen human condition thing. That broken place in humanity that calls us all into a relationship with poor choices and sin. I know this. So why do we as parents get upset when our children act like...well...humans? Because we want to control the outcome. And when our naughty children don't comply - we take it personally.

Thank God! No really, I thank God he doesn't expect fro me to return perfect for perfection. Hs parenting is perfect! I do not respond with perfection. Being a good Wesleyan I strive for perfection but I am far from it. Does God get down? Does God lose hope in me? No - God tries again.

Thank God! We will always want donuts. We will sometimes throw a fit for donuts, take them, sneak them, and lie about them. God will still love us, correct us and hope we will learn that His way is best. In the meantime as parents maybe we can learn that our kids will do whatever they can to get the donuts, we can prepare, plan for and avoid the eventual donut binge but it will happen. And we can't control it. We can only love them, correct them and hope they will one day learn our way is best. 

one is like a thousand

Well here we go again. The dream. Darn dream. Dreams are funny things. They dance around your head while you sleep. Although to the outside world you are laying there with your mouth open, slack-jawed, drool dampening your pillow - inside, your mind is engaging in bathing hippos or or going to class in your underwear. Dreams are a window to our unconsciousness according to Sigmund Freud. In the scientific word there are at least a few hundred fairly valid theories about the origins and manifestations of dreams. 

A Cardboard Box Village

The dream I am speaking of is more of a God given dream you might find in the Bible a la Jacob's Ladder or the mildly hesitant Ananias  The kind that is real and real insistent. In my case it is also a dream that repeats itself over and over and OVER. Sometimes changing slightly but always containing key elements. The puzzle pieces of my dream include the excited subject of...wait for it...cardboard boxes! Yes, glamorous, right!??! Boxes. Let me tell you, these boxes are the stuff dreams are made of.


The dreams that came to the great dreamers in the Bible are called "prophetic dreams," dreams that come from God and in some way will speak God's word or desires. In the case of Jacob, his dream showed him that despite his poor choices that hurt others, he would still receive God's blessing given through his Grandpa Abraham and Ananias, as a follower of the recently crucified Christ, was being asked to go to Saul, a chief persecutor of Christ followers and "witness to him." God's dreams are ...different... than the bathing hippo dreams. These dreams give direction, they guide you or they give answers. True to God's way, these answers or direction may come slowly over our time. Peter wrote in his second letter, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years and a thousand years are like one day...but the Lord is not slow with His promises. Sometimes God's dreams unfold in this way. The puzzle pieces are the same, every time you dream but the understanding may take time. Or maybe some of us that have these dreams are particularly slow on the message God is trying to convey. That might be me and by might I mean is.

My box dream is really a dream about a village of boxes, large and small with people inside each one. In the center of the village there is a larger box. This box contains happiness, wholeness and life. The smaller boxes are incomplete and from that desire to find wholeness and happiness the people inside are searching for a way to or in the larger box. But they can't. It is as if they are wandering near, or around the place that would provide what they are lacking. The people are smart enough to know they need something. 

This dream wears me out! I have been dreaming this dream since 2002; twelve years. I know, a thousand is like one and one is like a thousand, yada yada yada. But Hippo washing is so much easier. When I dreamed that dream I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that, while it seemed as though much fun was had, I was not about to embark on a life of hippo bathing or open a drive thru hippo wash. I woke up, chuckled and moved on. But this dream, these boxes, those people haunt my thoughts for days following this dream. This dreams wears me out because I know that it means I am to do something but I am unsure what. I have gained the understanding that the boxes are homes, gatherings of people that have yet to find God. God has been found in the larger box. Lately the dreams show that the larger box seems closed off; no windows or doors. I know that following the dream my heart aches for those wandering, seeking and not finding. I know that this dream that I have had at least 100 times in the last twelve years, has made significant changes in who I am and what I do. In twelve years I have answered the call to ministry, gone to seminary and work constantly to reach the unreached and those hiding. But still the dream.

God am I to lead the people to the box, am I to bust open doors and windows in the walls of this box or am I to let God out of that box!!! I am open to suggestions or insight. Give me a ladder to heaven or some strong words. <sigh>