We All Want Donuts...Don't We?!?!

So.... last night during bible study I got this text.

Apparently Sassy girl was having a rough night - or at least Mom was. Here is the deal. Sassy is a pretty great kid. But she is a toddler; spreading her blue sparkly wings trying out new things, including manipulation tactics. Some work better than others. In no way is her "whiney hiney-ness" a reflection of poor parenting. Sassy's mom and dad are very consistent with guidance and schedules yet flexible enough to allow her some fun. The issue in question...

Sassy was recently introduced to Ralph's - the best donut shop EVER! It is her favorite treat. For her nothing is better than a fresh, sprinkle donut. She often orders coffee to go with her donut. Mom denies that request giving her water instead.


Life is about the donuts; not actual donuts, mind you, but the figurative donuts. Those things in life we want in abundance that we shouldn't have except in moderation or not at all. No matter how good the guidance and parenting is in our lives, we still want what is bad for us and there is often a higher power (human parent or Godly) that will try to stop us from making that choice.

But we humans are persistent. We try manipulation; in Sassy's case, whining. As we get older we try to hide from our parent to enjoy what we want without intervention. Last night we discovered that one of our sons, in an effort to fit in and run with the cool older guys, made some choices that were highly inappropriate. It happens. Teenage boys are teenage boys. He knew these were bad choices. He knew better. But he really wanted to "do it." So he did. His method of operation was not to ask then whine when we said no. He didn't throw a fit or negotiate. He did it anyway and hid his actions a la Adam and Eve. And just like God's first children he was caught. It was bad. as parents we were angry, scared and disappointed. 

Back to Sassy my response to her mama was less than sympathetic. Here is my response....

You see Sassy's Mom tended to be a little dramatic and whiney in her early years. It happens. And as I look at my son's behavior, I realize he didn't do anything that my husband or I would have  done (and probably did do.) But when you are on the "momma" end of the situation other emotions come into play, fear, loss of confidence in our parenting and more importantly, ... control. Sassy's mom, my daughter,  does everything she does as a parent to provide the best atmosphere for that beautiful perfect child. We do everything we do for our children, this wayward son included, to guide him in the way he should go. When our children don't follow the plan as we have set before them, it upsets our parenting mojo. That blueprint me make as we decide how we want the child to be - we input the proper factors and viola - perfect child; except for that pesky fallen human condition thing. That broken place in humanity that calls us all into a relationship with poor choices and sin. I know this. So why do we as parents get upset when our children act like...well...humans? Because we want to control the outcome. And when our naughty children don't comply - we take it personally.

Thank God! No really, I thank God he doesn't expect fro me to return perfect for perfection. Hs parenting is perfect! I do not respond with perfection. Being a good Wesleyan I strive for perfection but I am far from it. Does God get down? Does God lose hope in me? No - God tries again.

Thank God! We will always want donuts. We will sometimes throw a fit for donuts, take them, sneak them, and lie about them. God will still love us, correct us and hope we will learn that His way is best. In the meantime as parents maybe we can learn that our kids will do whatever they can to get the donuts, we can prepare, plan for and avoid the eventual donut binge but it will happen. And we can't control it. We can only love them, correct them and hope they will one day learn our way is best.