Prevail!

In 6th grade i was in my required music class, being bored as we sang Senor Don Gato out of the Silver Burnett music textbooks. When the principal came in and asked who would like to go join a new class that was being started; Speech and Drama. I had no clue what you did in that class but anything o escape music, I was on board! My first role? Wanda the Witch in a halloween play. This class led to being in a speech, debate and/or drama class through highs school and scholarshipped my first year of college. Through high school I began to become a movie and theater buff on my quest to become the next star on the walk of fame. 

September 16, 1924 - August 12, 2014

I quickly fell in love with Lauren Bacall. She was someone I could identify with. Her voice wasn't high and soft like other actresses of her time or mine, even. Her eyes pierced through you. Being someone with intense eyes I felt like she gave me hope. Lauren Bacall was no small, tiny diminutive woman; she was no Gidget. She had strong bones, broad shoulders and accentuated them with big shoulder pads. More importantly, Lauren Bacall was not was no shrinking, soft ingenue. She had a brain, and a  spirit that seemed to be a match for even an actor like Humphrey Bogart. Her presence did not shrink next to him. She even outlived him by 50 years.

Lauren Bacall is quoted with saying, “Here is a test to find out whether your mission in life is complete. If you’re alive, it isn’t.” this coming from a woman that was doing voice overs and cameos at the age of 88 less than a year before she died of a massive stroke.

Lauren Bacall's character, Evelyn

I no longer act. I left that dream over 35 years ago. It was fun but as I grew it wasn't me. I But I am not through with wanting to be a little like a great women like Lauren Bacall. She has some traits that are worth considering.

in 1977 she was interviewed by Parade magazine. She ended her interview with this statement, "Everyone is a survivor. Everyone wants to stay alive. What's the alternative? See, I prefer to prevail." To prevail is to be victorious. 

To be victorious is to win all the time; to have someone else be a loser. To be victorious is more than winning. Being better than the next guy is great. But as my karate sansei told me a really long time ago, "Beating someone is great, but remember, there is always someone faster, smarter, better just waiting to beat you."

Being victorious means you overcome the weaknesses in side you. You identify each place you are less than God created you to be and then you allow God to shave the rough places off with surgeon like precision. 

It is by God's glorious grace and mercy that we are to prevail; to be victorious. It is not in God's design to settle, to give up. Ever! It is our calling to prevail!

Of Heroes and Superpowers

A few days ago I posted this

on my Facebook status. I post scriptures when they catch attention; speak to me. This scripture spoke to me. It was a great reminder I need; we all need. More importantly it addressed a few issues I had been pondering of late.

Recently, Build-A-Bear Workshop ended their relationship with Autism Speaks. I personally do not support Autism Speaks and I understand the desire of Build-A-Bear, the backlash and ugliness between opposing sides hurts my heart.


While I may not agree with how Autism Speaks "supports" individuals and families working through the adjustments autism brings into their lives, I am certain that ugliness is not the answer. The reaction from my neuro-typical family and friends leans toward classifying both sides as crazy, ranting fools rather than people passionate about helping their loved ones and finding the best way to go about doing so.




As a pastor, I see this "in fighting" so often in the Christian community. Denomination against denomination, Roman Catholic facing off against Protestant, and worse yet, people within their own Denomination coming to a place of taking sides on ONE issue. Or worse yet, just griping about what is going in your church, your denomination, your faith to those that are not part of that dialogue. 

Please understand that I don't believe we all should "give-in" to someone to make peace but at some point we have to acknowledge the damage being done to the larger community as a whole as we air our inability to find consensus and work together. People outside of the conversation on Autism; those not impacted daily by the challenges and differences are have not yet come to a depth of understanding to be able to perceive the dialogue as passion, frustration and urgency and often chalk it up to an uneasy feeling towards the subject at hand.  

My son is autistic, has autism. Depending on who you speak to I should say he has autism, not that he is autistic. Why you ask?  Those on the "has" side want to separate the child from the condition. It is called person first language. Fair enough but those on the "is" side want others to see that autism is a part of who this child is and we should accept them for who they are created to be. I end up saying whatever comes out of my mouth. My child, the one who is autistic and has autism has been asked which he prefers. His response, "Does it matter, I am still Kota." And there you are and yet we are still fighting amongst ourselves. 

I see the same problem in my faith institutions. We find that in applying our faith to the world in which we live we find that issues are seen differently. How we work through differences and beliefs of how God would see life today if He stepped down from His throne today and became incarnate among us can consume us. But do we allow it to consume us to the point of losing sight of the real reason we are disciples - to disciple. 

Do these fusses and fights draw people to the heart of God where real transformation takes place or does it add bricks to the wall? I believe they build that wall high and strong! Then what really matters, "God is still God!" Gets lost in the ugliness shown to the world.

Every time a hate-filled protest poster is held high in condemnation of other Christians (or worse yet, non- Christians) that is one more brick mortared in. Every time we choose back biting or behind the back whispering we might as well build a fortress around our churches where no one new can venture in. 

Passion is a dangerous drug when it turns into a super-power used to fuel Right Fighting! When we are working to be a Suer Hero championing the rights of "whatever cause" what is really needed is a hero who will step up, listen and choose to create compassionate, loving dialogue to try to understand. I don't know about you, but the last church I would want to join is the 1st Pretty Church of NoOneGetsAlong. 

It is hard to reach out to people when you your back is bowed up in anger towards someone you should be in partnership with in the reaching out. It is equally hard to speak the Gospel to someone when your hand is placed over the side of your mouth as whispered dissension escapes. 

So thank you, Build-A-Bear for quietly coming to your senses and not turning it into a public mutiny. I even more greatly appreciate that you chose to continue your support of autism acceptance through words and actions and less through lining the pockets of a heavy-merchandised machine. But the rest of you autistic loving people, take a cue form B-A-B, be nice. Please. 

And you Christians, my people, same to you! Dad says so!

Watch and Learn

I will be the first to tell you that television shows are almost becoming the barometer of the downfall of society. But the sad fact of the day is, I love watching television. It is my not-so-secret indulgence. I send my days and nights leading, guiding and loving people, pigeon holing in study and writing as I get a few minutes. I live in a world of reading theological and spiritual writings and previewing and reviewing potential Bible Studies. My world can get consumed with 8th and 9th grade Language Arts, Science and Social Studies (I am blessed to have two daughters that handle the math for the boys.) Television for me is a place to surround my psyche in other worlds in other places with other people's problems that I not only have to solve - but TV problems come to a nice tidy conclusion at the end of an hour. 

In defense of checking out to the glow of the flat screen, there are things you can learn from a lot of shows that are productive and positive life lessons. Granted you can learn magnificent life lessons about how not to __________ (fill in the blank with the the lesson of your choice). For example, Honey Boo Boo has taught us that the toddler word "sketti" (recipe demo begins at 6:49) should not be a real recipe for anyone. Or that just because the originally clean cut Duck Dynasty guys grew beards for marketing purposes, you are not them. Trim up men! These are not shows I watch. But I do have a list of favorites and lessons I have learned from each.

So You Think you Can Dance, Dancing with the Stars and Dance Moms
take a natural, God-given gift and work it
I used to dance. My mom sent me to my first dance class in my cute little black leo with pink tights and my ballet bun pinned up tight with fresh pink rose buds in my hair. Had my life taken different directions I may have turned out as a choreographer. These shows are more than a happy reminder of a previous love. I have learned if something is not in you then you can't be in "it." Hard working dancers do well on these shows and naturally gifted dancers succeed as well but the ones that make the most impact are those that take a natural, God-given gift and work it...HARD.  I have learned to discern those gifts in myself and then not rest on my laurels but to work them hard and use them well. More importantly be thankful for given gifts.

Dr. Phil
when there is trouble look at my choices, my habits first - then fix them
Let me start by stating that I have never missed an episode of this syndicated psychologist's down home advice talk-show. From the first episode when he looked into the face of  the tear soaked mom, sobbing because her marriage is in danger due to the financial problems she is causing by the over-indulgence of her fit-throwing 9 year old. His advice; "Don't do it anymore!" Not too touchy-feely, not really complicated, direct and to the point. I was hooked. Dr. Phil's style of calling it as he sees it is something we need in this world. Too often our desire to seem nonjudgmental and accepting gives people the belief that you have no role in life changing moments. He then gives them tools to complete the task; rehab, extended counseling, medical treatment, whatever will empower the person to move into an active role in their lives.  From Dr. Phil I have learned that as I troubles come my way to look at my choices, my habits first! See what role I play in the problem, then secondly ask, what tools do I need to seek to address this issue. Then don't do it anymore.

Project Runway
less is more and make it work
Tim Gunn's two famous phrases can be guiding forces in my day. Less is more is great advice for anyone. Sometimes we get so caught up in the minutia of our daily tasks we add more work to something that should be handled cleanly and simply. Too often in ministry I have to solve problems with tools missing from my tool box. If I can't find someone to assist me then I just have to make it work. 





Modern Family and Parenthood 
real families are weird and autism isn't

Me, Kota, Jill, Sassi, Dylan and Alli - part of our Normal Family

Thanks to Modern Family and Parenthood I was released from the need to kill myself in the effort to have my family appear "normal." I blame the Cleaver family for the need to strive for family normalcy. In a family that is comprised of a Pastor Mom, Photo Dad, his kids, my girls, our adopted boys, his grand kids, Sassafras and co-opted family members like Uncle Alan (really my girls bio-dad), a son-in-law that is a ministry collegue, Aunt Sessie (Leslie and Sam) which is really two people that adore Sassi and so on, we are by no means "normal." Thank you Modern Family for confirming that a unique family can work and does...in our own way. Parenthood shares the same model for us in dramatic form. Max, the son of Adam and Kristina Braverman, is a teenage character, struggling and adapting to life with Aspergers. Max was a small child when the show began and so was Kota. As we watched the writers carefully construct the process of the diagnosis, the acceptance and the daily work of tackling this enigma called autism we became keenly aware that "they were us. More accurately Max was Kota. As the Bravermans found ways to make Autism work in their lives it encouraged us, inspired us and empowered us to do the same. Max is cool these days and frankly, so is Kota!

America's Got Talent
we all have different taste and some of us don't have any

This show is most funny in the audition phase. I catch myself wondering, did you watch yourself in the mirror, have you no honest friends, are you really dying so no one wants to tell you how bad you really are? But as the show winnows down the "talent" there is actually some real talent in America. Votes come in for some true front runners and sometimes talent will float to the top that clearly is not my favorite. How in the world????? But watching this show, listening to the judges and others critique the acts I find that just because others may not and visa versa. A simple lesson, yes, but one we all need to pay heed to.

The Pioneer Woman & most anything else on The Food Channel 
I have solid roots and I have freedom to try new things

I have been a Food Channel fan for years but only stumbled on the Pioneer Woman Show last year. Her recipes are solid and she is a little cheesy but being a photographer as well as a home cook her show paints a portrait of Oklahoma ranch living. People in Oklahoma are not what media portrays.  We are more than toothless people in wife beaters lamenting the loss of our trailer from the latest twister (clip from Arkansas tornado but Okies get the same treatment). Oklahomans are a hard working, down home, rugged breed that at the end of the day love good food and family. That is the Oklahoma I remember. The land is flat, and yes, there are tornados - lots of tornados, but Oklahomans for a little more than a centruy have taken this lot in stride. Just like most shows on the food channel, the  chefs take what God has given them and not only survive but strive to make life great and flavorful. My persevering spirit is directly from growing up around my Native land and has given me a spirit of creativity. The Food Channel reminded me that with the right foundation you can be free to step out and be adventurous. 

I would love to tell you that I am going to be the true academic I have trained to be and show complete and utter disdain for television but , yeah, that's not going to happen. I find therapeutic escape watching sometimes, mindless comedy and drama. I scoff at "reality" TV and I dream big dreams as I watch dancers soar through the air. But like everything I do in life, I try to find something to reflect upon and learn. 

Sometimes....

Sometimes you just can't...

Thank you God for this blessing.

Got Teacher?

My child is a goober! Which one you ask? Fair question. If you have met any of my children you would have the right at any given moment to ask, "Which of those Mowdy kids are not goofy?" Today, however, I am speaking of my baby-child, Dylan. 


He goes by many names, Dylard to me, Doofus to his sisters and Uncle Dish to his precious little niece. He is often called Dakota because naming your children with alliterated monikers creates parental confusion. He hates being called Dakota. Fair enough. He is not Dakota.

He looks like his father and his sister; both of which have no genetic ties because he is adopted into our family. He acts a lot like me (sigh) and sometimes his Dad. He looks nor acts anything like his biological Mom. Nurture is a powerful force. 

Why do I feel the need to tell you about this handsome goober child? Because in pondering life's realities I find so many of them wrapped up in him. 

He is not perfect.
God may have started out with perfect plans but by the time Dylan made it into this world, he emerged with some imperfections. He has flat feet, two uvulas (the punching bag thingy in the back of your throat) and dimples in his lips. (I will spare you pictures) He didn't cause these imperfections. People with a long list of letters behind their names blame a genetic condition but genetics mean it started somewhere; a long, forgone brokenness in someone's genetic code. He is not perfect but he knows that with God in him he is perfect as he is. And his momma thinks lip dimples are cute. His imperfections are no hinderance for him and shouldn't be for us either. I wonder what imperfections I allow to hold me back.

He has his own style.
Shouldn't we all? Don't get me wrong, he often insists on having the latest "whatever - whatever" that is what "so-and-so" is wearing. He needs them! But most of the time he takes those things that are part of the sanctioned dress code for the world and twists it and makes it his own. In a world where his Mom is constantly working to make him conform to social norms and peer pressure pushing him even harder, he makes choices that suit him. Being created in God gives us the freedom to be who we feel inside we should be. We should be able to do so without feeling inferior or pressured in someway to be something we are not. Oh but really, camo Sanuks with black crew socks and plaid shorts. It gives me a redneck, grandpa whiplash. But at least he trumps me at being who he feels he needs to be.


Like yourself (selfie.)
Dylan, like every other teenager with a phone, takes selfies. He chronicles life's happenings with backwards camera photos. Sometimes they are serious and often they are funny, but never are the pictures racy or provocative. Many of them may have a recently captured or rescued critter but always they are  Dylan in his goobery glory. How cool is it that he has figured out what so many of us haven't; that we look fine! Hiding from ourselves doesn't make ourselves go away. Go! Look in the mirror, enjoy what you see or change what you don't like. But take the time to take a look at yourself. Looking at yourself is the only way you can know yourself. 



Find a way to make it work for you.
Recently I asked Dylan to clear the table after dinner, put away the left-overs, load the dishes in the dishwasher etc. Typically the request would be followed with the usual litany of "what is Kota going to do", "can't you help", "I hate touching dirty dishes", etc. But this night I caught a glimpse of the man child he is quickly becoming and he starts clearing the table. But then I look up and see this:
He had clipped a clothespin on his ear. Why you ask (You may as well, I did) well because it pinched and he felt that it would motivate him to get the chore done efficiently. He had created a method where he raced his pain tolerance as motivation to stay on task. Granted this method of motivation is quite unorthodox and not something I would  never had suggested, he found a way achieve a goal. His goal? He wants to prove that he is mature and responsible enough to be granted permission for a dirt bike. He has been trying to do all that is asked and do it well and without procrastination; hence the clothespin. He found a way to make a difficult challenge work. Are we willing to think outside the box, try something hard, to get through a personal challenge? Or do we just let life take us over?


Fearlessly use your gifts.
I hate guns. I am sure anyone that nows me, knows this fact. I think they are loud and I have a healthy respect for their power and potential for life-changing consequences if used recklessly. I do not protest the right of anyone to have guns of their own but in my home I have worked hard to keep our home weapon free. The girls never had toy guns until they were pre-teens with super soakers. I tried the same with the boys. From toddlerhood, Dylan used his finger, bananas, or upside-down Barbie legs as make shift pistols. He spent hours in trees with cap rifles "hunting." I caved. What I now realize is that he was trying, against my stifling actions, to use his God given gifts. Dylan has extraordinary eye sight. He has a keen ability to hit most anything he aims at; with a rifle or a pistol. He knew at two. I didn't, or didn't want to. What will this gift bring for him in the future? Who knows. But as you can tell this pistol looks like a natural extension of his hands. He is raked 44th in the nation in trap shooting and his trap squad is ranked 4th. He is good! I want my gifts to be so utilized they seem like a natural extension of who I am and to do what God created me to do. I want to use these gifts so fearlessly that they become who I am not what I do.

This goober is showing me a model of living life in a way that God wants us to live; how we should be and who we should be as we live with God in us. With God's power we will do and be what He desires for us. Look around. Who is teaching you?

Hashtag tt

#transformationtuesdaysample from Instagram

In the world of social networking today is know as #transformationtuesday. Check out Instagram or Twitter, even on Facebook. All of those sights will be littered with pictures of how far a person, puppy or whatever has come with a brief testimony of such. Transformation Tuesday is my favorite day to stalk my friends posts. I love seeing their baby pictures, old high school photos and pictures of their pet when they were a baby. 

I like #transformationtuesday because that is what life is all about; transformation. What good would be be to anyone if we stayed today just like we were yesterday. If nothing we learned over the past few weeks, months, years make no impact on who we are becoming would be a waste of breaths on this earth.

So for you, dear readers, here is one of my favorite #transformationtuesday moments. For those of you that weren't around when they blew into our lives, this is Dakota Jack Mowdy and Dylan Tucker Mowdy headed to their first day of preschool. That wasn't their names then. They came with different names from a different world than many of us will ever know or comprehend. This picture was the day after they arrived, bald, scared and carrying everything they owned in a black Hefty trash bag. They were so tiny and timid. There is a transformation for you - even with Kota's small stature I don't think anyone that knows them could call either of them tiny or timid, now. 


In fact you can see they are big, grown and appear to have more confidence. We have been through health issues, trials of behavior; some typical for boys and some not so typical due to their background. We discovered Kota has PDD-NOS (a spectrum disorder) and Dylan has better than typical eyesight. We consider both of these issues as superpowers. But I keep this picture from their first days in our world to remind me how far they have become; to give me a reminder to honor their progress and cherish their metamorphosis. 

I used to dress them like twins. I did this partly because it was fun but mostly because it was easy. One boy would choose and the other boy would want the shirt too, so having two of everything was simple. Now they are so different it takes reminding that they are genetically related. Kota is non-violent and hates guns. He thinks analytically. Dylan loves to shoot and is quite good, he loves animals but lives to hunt them. His heart is golden.

Tomorrow is back to school day. New schools for both; Kota to high school and Dylan to the school across the street. Neither seem worried or scared. I am. I am as scared as I was that first day of preschool. Will they make friends, will they get in trouble, can they handle the school work? I have to know that each step of transformation will be for the good of the end result. 

Isn't that the promise? That through our relationship with God we will be transformed and in that transformation we will be better. I count on this promise for them, for me and for others. I know that they came to us not how God intended their first few years to be but that little by little, step by step they will be moved closer and closer to the original blueprint. It excites me, although I am no hurry to see the finished result. I love more watching their lives in God unfold.

I love #transformationtuesday because watching transformation in everyone is is proof that God is still actively involved in our lives here on earth; He hasn't given up on us yet! Look back at last Tuesday, have you changed at all... even a little? How will you change between now and next week? Year? 10 years? Will you let God transform you for the better?