Watch and Learn

I will be the first to tell you that television shows are almost becoming the barometer of the downfall of society. But the sad fact of the day is, I love watching television. It is my not-so-secret indulgence. I send my days and nights leading, guiding and loving people, pigeon holing in study and writing as I get a few minutes. I live in a world of reading theological and spiritual writings and previewing and reviewing potential Bible Studies. My world can get consumed with 8th and 9th grade Language Arts, Science and Social Studies (I am blessed to have two daughters that handle the math for the boys.) Television for me is a place to surround my psyche in other worlds in other places with other people's problems that I not only have to solve - but TV problems come to a nice tidy conclusion at the end of an hour. 

In defense of checking out to the glow of the flat screen, there are things you can learn from a lot of shows that are productive and positive life lessons. Granted you can learn magnificent life lessons about how not to __________ (fill in the blank with the the lesson of your choice). For example, Honey Boo Boo has taught us that the toddler word "sketti" (recipe demo begins at 6:49) should not be a real recipe for anyone. Or that just because the originally clean cut Duck Dynasty guys grew beards for marketing purposes, you are not them. Trim up men! These are not shows I watch. But I do have a list of favorites and lessons I have learned from each.

So You Think you Can Dance, Dancing with the Stars and Dance Moms
take a natural, God-given gift and work it
I used to dance. My mom sent me to my first dance class in my cute little black leo with pink tights and my ballet bun pinned up tight with fresh pink rose buds in my hair. Had my life taken different directions I may have turned out as a choreographer. These shows are more than a happy reminder of a previous love. I have learned if something is not in you then you can't be in "it." Hard working dancers do well on these shows and naturally gifted dancers succeed as well but the ones that make the most impact are those that take a natural, God-given gift and work it...HARD.  I have learned to discern those gifts in myself and then not rest on my laurels but to work them hard and use them well. More importantly be thankful for given gifts.

Dr. Phil
when there is trouble look at my choices, my habits first - then fix them
Let me start by stating that I have never missed an episode of this syndicated psychologist's down home advice talk-show. From the first episode when he looked into the face of  the tear soaked mom, sobbing because her marriage is in danger due to the financial problems she is causing by the over-indulgence of her fit-throwing 9 year old. His advice; "Don't do it anymore!" Not too touchy-feely, not really complicated, direct and to the point. I was hooked. Dr. Phil's style of calling it as he sees it is something we need in this world. Too often our desire to seem nonjudgmental and accepting gives people the belief that you have no role in life changing moments. He then gives them tools to complete the task; rehab, extended counseling, medical treatment, whatever will empower the person to move into an active role in their lives.  From Dr. Phil I have learned that as I troubles come my way to look at my choices, my habits first! See what role I play in the problem, then secondly ask, what tools do I need to seek to address this issue. Then don't do it anymore.

Project Runway
less is more and make it work
Tim Gunn's two famous phrases can be guiding forces in my day. Less is more is great advice for anyone. Sometimes we get so caught up in the minutia of our daily tasks we add more work to something that should be handled cleanly and simply. Too often in ministry I have to solve problems with tools missing from my tool box. If I can't find someone to assist me then I just have to make it work. 





Modern Family and Parenthood 
real families are weird and autism isn't

Me, Kota, Jill, Sassi, Dylan and Alli - part of our Normal Family

Thanks to Modern Family and Parenthood I was released from the need to kill myself in the effort to have my family appear "normal." I blame the Cleaver family for the need to strive for family normalcy. In a family that is comprised of a Pastor Mom, Photo Dad, his kids, my girls, our adopted boys, his grand kids, Sassafras and co-opted family members like Uncle Alan (really my girls bio-dad), a son-in-law that is a ministry collegue, Aunt Sessie (Leslie and Sam) which is really two people that adore Sassi and so on, we are by no means "normal." Thank you Modern Family for confirming that a unique family can work and does...in our own way. Parenthood shares the same model for us in dramatic form. Max, the son of Adam and Kristina Braverman, is a teenage character, struggling and adapting to life with Aspergers. Max was a small child when the show began and so was Kota. As we watched the writers carefully construct the process of the diagnosis, the acceptance and the daily work of tackling this enigma called autism we became keenly aware that "they were us. More accurately Max was Kota. As the Bravermans found ways to make Autism work in their lives it encouraged us, inspired us and empowered us to do the same. Max is cool these days and frankly, so is Kota!

America's Got Talent
we all have different taste and some of us don't have any

This show is most funny in the audition phase. I catch myself wondering, did you watch yourself in the mirror, have you no honest friends, are you really dying so no one wants to tell you how bad you really are? But as the show winnows down the "talent" there is actually some real talent in America. Votes come in for some true front runners and sometimes talent will float to the top that clearly is not my favorite. How in the world????? But watching this show, listening to the judges and others critique the acts I find that just because others may not and visa versa. A simple lesson, yes, but one we all need to pay heed to.

The Pioneer Woman & most anything else on The Food Channel 
I have solid roots and I have freedom to try new things

I have been a Food Channel fan for years but only stumbled on the Pioneer Woman Show last year. Her recipes are solid and she is a little cheesy but being a photographer as well as a home cook her show paints a portrait of Oklahoma ranch living. People in Oklahoma are not what media portrays.  We are more than toothless people in wife beaters lamenting the loss of our trailer from the latest twister (clip from Arkansas tornado but Okies get the same treatment). Oklahomans are a hard working, down home, rugged breed that at the end of the day love good food and family. That is the Oklahoma I remember. The land is flat, and yes, there are tornados - lots of tornados, but Oklahomans for a little more than a centruy have taken this lot in stride. Just like most shows on the food channel, the  chefs take what God has given them and not only survive but strive to make life great and flavorful. My persevering spirit is directly from growing up around my Native land and has given me a spirit of creativity. The Food Channel reminded me that with the right foundation you can be free to step out and be adventurous. 

I would love to tell you that I am going to be the true academic I have trained to be and show complete and utter disdain for television but , yeah, that's not going to happen. I find therapeutic escape watching sometimes, mindless comedy and drama. I scoff at "reality" TV and I dream big dreams as I watch dancers soar through the air. But like everything I do in life, I try to find something to reflect upon and learn.