Gotta Wear Shades

What were you doing thirteen years ago, today? This is the question of the day. For those of you just emerging from your fog of comfy bed, blankets and slumber, let me remind you, today is September 11th. If that isn't enough to rouse you I will call it by the name that became the trademark of tragedy - today is the anniversary of 9-11.

So what were you doing about now 13 years ago? Most everyone can answer that question. I can. I was sitting in my office of Cumberland Mountain School, a childcare center which also served as a lab school to train people for careers in early care and education. Helping to begin Cumberland Mountain School is what brought our family to Tennessee. Previously I had worked for the Center for Early Childhood Professional Development at the University of Oklahoma; both Joe, the girls and I being Oklahoma born and bred. The day of the 9-11 tragedy I was in a new office, in a new job, reflecting on an old feeling; fear!

Sitting in the office of a child care you do not have on a television nor a radio. It is all child interaction all the time. It was the ringing of the telephone that began the delivery of the message for the day as well as the aftermath that followed on September 11, 2001. 

You see, that is what we remember. That is what we think of when asked, "Where were you that day?" We may remember the incident as a brief marker of time but our thoughts go to where we were, what we were doing and what unfolded that day. For me I remember being in my office and barely leaving due to answering the phone comforting and assuring scared parents, calling to check on my kids, myself, and preparing a re-release of an article I had written around September of 1995 following the Oklahoma City bombing. The article was about reducing and preventing stress for children during troubling times of tragedy. I had been asked to write the article because I directed the "other" federal child care center when Timothy McVey killed a total of 168 people, 15 of which were children; babies at the America's Kids DayCare. Many parents had the same thought; one day care was bombed, is someone trying to recreated what happened before and could their children be in danger. 

As the day of September 11th progressed into the evening the impact of the OKC bombing resonates through out our family. Jill has a respiratory event, often brought on by stress. Jill had spent the day of the bombing terrified because all she had been told was "The federal day care had blown up and everyone there was dead." She knew that is where her mom and sister were. Later the day of the fall of the twin towers on 9-11, Jill reported that the minute she first heard, her thoughts went to worry over me and her sister, although she couldn't figure out why. We know now she flashed bak to the stress of the the bombing day. Alli was only a little shut down. She never understood what was going on. She was only six years old but knew "something" was happening. 

Why in the world does our mind go to bad things when we look at remembering tragedy. Why do we go to the fear? Why do we not look at how God over came evil in that day? First! 

We, as believers and followers in Christ are asked to remember. As Christ for told of his painful, impending sacrifice, He sets forth a plan, a system to remember that very sacrifice. But not in tragedy but in a way that displays God overcoming evil. As United Methodists we recite this plan as we share in the act of Holy Eucharist. But God reigns supreme in the moment of intended evil through this very sentiment:
       Make them (the bread and cup) be for us the body and blood of Christ,
       that we may be for the world the body of Christ;
       redeemed by his blood.

Evil wants us to remember the pain, the fear. God wants us to remember His glory in the redemption of the moment. Evil when we when we are lost is misery. God is glorified when we lift our heads and find His light in the darkness. 

Many rose above fear on 9-11. Those that struggled to save the injured, miracle stories of those that survived against all odds to live and share messages to others. What if those in US Flight 93 has stayed in their dark, panicked moment and huddled down? It is suspected that pane was headed for the White House. Many passengers like Todd Beamer  were recorded on phone calls for help leading other passengers in the Lord's Prayer and the 23rd Psalm, then with a cry of "Let's Roll!" rushed the hijackers bringing the plane down in an empty field short of it's intended target. They lifted their heads above the fear and saw the Light of God's glory! 


Looking to today's headlines, we have cause for concern. The threat that began the terror on 9-11 has grown, not diminished. The response to unrest is most often more violence - not peace; often in the form of terrorism. So what will you do this day or days to follow? Look up to find the light beyond the darkness or bury your head and allow dark to befall you? Sir Edmond Burke said, "Those who don't now history are doomed to repeat it." But allowing history be that...His Story eradicates fear. His perfect love casts out the fear of the past and lets the light shine in the future.  The your future will be so bright... you should know the rest. 

Failure is an Option

Back in June I wrote a blog titled, "Be An Ice Cube STAT". I highlighted a a picture of an orchid my daughter Alli gave me; an orchid I thought has died. I told of how, with loving care and nurturing, my husband resurrected the near dead orchid. 

I feel now, as I did when I first wrote that blog, that we all need that loving touch sometimes and other times we may need to be the water to there arid dryness. I had the picture of a perfect, vital community sitting right on my kitchen windowsill. I love looking at each day and it gives hope for humanity; hope for our planet. Everyone helping when help is needed. We all lean on each other when we need to lean and we prop up when we prop up. Together, beauty is found. Here is the beautiful first orchid of the resurrected plant. It almost looks artificial, doesn't it? I love the delicacies of this flower. Is is transparent and fragile, yet sturdy with help.



Check this out! Here is the same plant in August. If you are having trouble counting, it holds not one, not two, not three but NINE blossoms. It still has the stick but only because it became so heavy with weight from holding up all the blooms. Beautiful! Amazing. I had to capture this picture. I felt as though God was blessing us because of our great care; our dedication. By "our" I mean Joe but what's mine is his and what is his is mine. I share in his victory. We are awesome! This is proof that if you love something, take care of it you will achieve greatness. What a glorious trophy of horticulture prowess , right in the kitchen. I pondered moving it to the living room so I could share it with everyone that came to our home. (Joe stopped me explaining the lighting was not correct in the living room.)

King Solomon is considered the author of the collection of wisdom statement in the Bible titles, Ecclesiastes. The name implies Solomon penned this wisdom so that it could be shared or taught with the gathered assembly of people.  One of the most recognized passages from this book is:

"For everything there is a season,
     and a time for every purpose under heaven.
A time to be born, and a time to die; 
     a time to plant, a time to pluck up that which is planted." Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

This is the passage that ran through my head as I watched the beautiful, bountiful flower, decrease and appear to flounder. The passage was more to calm and sooth me as I panicked thinking Joe was doing something wrong. (Yes, I noticed now it is all Joe. That is how I roll. Joe loves me anyway.) I mean really, he had to be doing something wrong. It was so full and lovely. Yes, I get flowers don't live forever, but before as one would wither and its life would end one, sometimes two would be right behind it to fill in the gap. I began to loose faith in Joe's green thumb, the light and shade in the back yard, the cleanliness of the kitchen window. Could it be so dirty that the light is filtering through insufficiently? I didn't clean, mind you, but I did wonder. I worried that we hadn't been the support the flower needed. We failed as a community. All the while I kept saying the passage over and over in my head, hoping against hope Solomon is as wise as he is given credit for. Letting it be a "season" removed the guilt of maybe doing something wrong. I would have something to tell Alli when she came hope, ran to the kitchen to see her gift withering away before her eyes. (Probably not really but I would feel bad!) What did we do wrong?!?!?!?


Nothing. It is the end of a cycle. The orchids need a break. Joe noticed they need to be moved into a larger pot. The roots are poking out in an area of the pot. It holds the  promise of blooms, new life to come in small bumps n the stem. Joe pointed out it's leaves are healthy, it's stem is bent from hard work carrying a heavy load but it is stringer than it once was. Once again this beautiful gift is providing a big lesson. Life has up moments and down moments. Life will make you tire and use you but not use you up. When you give, and give, and give you look spent and down but you are still not out. And aster some rest, life will spring forth and this time you will be stronger, wiser and better equipped to handle what life could bring. The season you are in is just fine. There will be a new season in time. 

To everything there is a season...turn, turn, turn

The Same Big Rocks

A few representatives from HUMC Liturgical Dance Camp 

What you are seeing here (see video) is a glimpse of Heaven. These close to perfect beautiful children praising the Lord with dance. What is important to not is these kiddos are not concerned with the fact that they learned the dance at classes at one denomination with kids from various denominations (and non) and are dancing in a house of worship in another. (By house of worship I mean converted movie theater!) These represent at least four different church families. 





Here is another picture of God's Kingdom. Last weekend, folks from the Homestead community in Cumberland County, Tennessee gathered to pray for the community, the teachers and faculty, and the children. Represented here are 9 churches from 4 denominations. Adults; young and older. Children; many not understanding why this moment is big. Some of the people have yet to discover a church home. But together they gathered on public school property to pray for God's reign here on this piece of real estate; praying for "Thy Kingdom to come on Earth."  As I looked with trepidation at the new local Church of Christ pastor when I stepped up to pray for the community his comment was, "We're just here, servants of God, toiling together, hitting the same big rocks."


Isn't that how it should be - the harvest is great and the workers are few and all that? In this county at least 92% of the population profess to be "Christian", yet less that 50% of the population are actively pursuing a relationship with God in community through church or some other organized house of worship; in other words they are non-church going. There is a message in a bunch of kids gathering to dance for God where ever they are allowed and bunch of people gathering to pray to stake a claim for God where He is often asked to leave. What is that message? 

"Though we cannot think alike, may we not love alike? May we not be of one heart, though we are not of one opinion? Without all doubt, we may. Herein all the children of God may unite, notwithstanding these smaller differences." ~ John Wesley

OR, in other words...

"We're just here, servants of God, toiling together, hitting the same big rocks." ~Rev. Don Anderson

We are people of one God. We are people of one book. Let us be people be of one heart so that we can be people of one Kingdom here on Earth. I pray we have the opportunity to go more places to dance. I hope for the chance to pray for others in all places. I want to go far and wide to bring workers together to toil in our vast mission field.

Why would I want to go anywhere - everywhere to toil - to work? Why? "He has forgiven our sins as far as the east is to the west." Psalm 103:12 I figure if He can forgive us that extravagantly, I should be prepared to serve God equally as extravagantly. I realize I am but one, broken person willing to serve, but if I only rely on what I can do alone then I allow no room for others to come along side me and God to supply the power. I also realize that no matter where I go to serve - there will be the same big rocks!

Eeek I Ate a Fuji

This might be a one of my favorite places in Crossville, TN. It is called Rowell's Apple House. It is located just down the road from us. Rowell's grows and hand picks every apple. They are high quality, pesticide free, crunchy, goodness. When you walk in you can taste apple in the air. I find it funny that I like this place because I really don't like apples. I have tried my whole life but they made my stomach hurt. I kept trying to like them but they were just cold, hard and sour to me. Until this!!!!

THE HONEY CRISP

Someone brought one to apple study and it was love at first bite. It is amazing!! Crispy, juicy, sweet, fragrant. Walking into buy a whole bag of these apples delights my heart. I only want to eat the Honey Crisp. All other apples are not even considered when I walk into the Apple House.I walk right past the other rows. I know the shelf on which they live and I don't visit any other apples. there are some I have never tried. They may be good by why make the gamble? I am not wiling to even try.

But then catastrophe happened. I ate a Fuji. I had purchased some Fuji's for a friend and one had accidentally ended up in my honey crisp bag. I know how it infiltrated its way into my bag. I was juggling many bags into the house and the Fuji deftly rolled out of the bag, on to the ground, where Joe scooped it up and PUT IT INTO THE WRONG BAG!!!! This morning a innocently grabbed an apple, never worrying about there being a interloper lurking in our beautiful apple basket. As I began to read, pray and study I took the first bite. Something was wrong, way wrong! 

I am being dramatic, I know. But I seriously only like Honey Crisp. But I often find myself in this predicament in other aspects in my life. I like what I like. I am fairly open minded. I am willing to try new tastes, experiences or adventures, but I am quick to put everything into a "keep" or "toss" basket. Stuff in my "toss" basket: tennis, seafood, bike riding, polka, patten leather shoes and horror movies. There is really no plans of trying them again. They have no chance of making my "keep" basket. 

I ponder...does God have a "keep" and "toss" basket? Does He look at His creation and think, "Nope, i tried working with the Monica girl but, naw, she just isn't what I a looking for." Toss! Would He gaze at a church meeting, bible study or gathering of His followers and say to Himself, "I keep hoping these experience get more satisfying but it's not happening. See ya!" I doubt it. 

Fortunately, our God is a God of grace; a God of mercy. Unfortunately, I believe He has a deep understanding of where and how we fall short. He loves us, accepts us and stays with us anyway. Whew! Good thing because often our actions, who we have become is a poor representation of what God created.  God doesn't appear to have a toss or keep basket. It appears as though He holds out hope that we will transform into the original intent. 

I wonder what He thinks about what we manifest into this world with our choices of how we accept others? Does He shake is head in discouragement as we place people in the toss or keep basket. Maybe we should just be willing to occasionally accept a Fuji, or Red Delicious, or even Granny Smith into your life? 

"Therefor accept each other just as Christ as accepted you so that God will be given glory." Romans 15:7

Thing 1, Thing Who?

I have always been a cool kid, from the very, very beginning. This is me just shy of age 2. Not sure the story here but, honestly, there may not have been one. I was "that" kid. You know, the kid that sits on couch with one slipper missing, pants too short and a Thing 1 wig on my head. Just sayin... Who would know by the time this picture had been taken I had been born with multiple health problems 2 moths early, was living with my grandparents after they had taken me from and abusive father and a mother incapable of stopping it and my grandfather had passed away suddenly so the home I lived in was enveloped with grief. I apparently was oblivious by the looks of this photo, fair enough - I was barely a toddler. 

This was just the beginning. Abuse, neglect and multiple homes and fathers followed. Many would say I experienced many tragedies in my childhood. 

BUT

Many riches occurred during my childhood. I was blessed to have a grandmother that indulged me as grandmothers should. She was known for saying, you can't spoil a smart child. My mother's sister and her husband, Aunt Judy and Uncle Terry, provided summer get-aways and a picture of a "normal" home life with two parents, discipline, routine and love. I learned what could be.

As an adult the trend has continued. Some really crazy, less than favorable moments coupled with some really great times that have shaped my life. 

SO

Am I wrecked for life? Have these horrible moments decimated me? Apparently not. I am here. I have survived. I feel as though I have thrived in many areas of my life. And convexly, there have been failures. I feel as though I was refined by the fires in my life. There are scars, flaws in the product called "ME" but I find comfort in the fact that there is a product and a useable/functional one at that. I almost feel as though the flaws serve as a way to make me more unique, more uncommon, me "Monica." I begin looking like everyone else, then BAM out comes the Thing 1 wig! I find that the scars on my heart, my soul serve to make for strength. As the wound would heal (and it will if I don't keep picking at it) the tough skin that forms making a scar gives strength to my heart allowing it to continue on, pumping, loving, breaking for others but as more stabs come my heart is stronger more resilient due to the very scars formed by the very wounds that intended as fatal. I have always pondered how is this type of perseverance possible? 

THEN

This sign posted by my friend Tracy at Perks, her coffee shop. This is it. Not only have the fires in my life been unsuccessful in consuming me, reducing me to ashes. The fire has created me. Built me. Scorch marks and all. This fire is proof of God's grace and mercy. God does not allow us to be consumed, destroyed, removed from His sight. But takes the same fire and uses it to heat us up, strengthen us and make us gold; more precious and valuable. The prophet Isaiah spoke of God's intentions for His created. The writer of Romans says, "God is a consuming fire." What God does with those flames of His, is he consumed those "fleshly bits" that stand in our way from perfection. He takes that glowing red ember and cauterizes the flowing wounds of abuse and self-inflection. The intense heat solders the places of weakness in our character and makes them stronger. 

NOW

Let it happen. Let the fire burn. Let God's flames create in you a clean heart, a strong countenance, and an unstoppable force while on this planet!

Be Where it Matters

Recently I was blessed to participate in a wedding of a couple from our church family. Participation for me means I enter into a covenant of guidance, love and commitment before the actual ceremony. I love the pre-wedding stuff! I have to admit, by the time bride and groom are in the church, standing before me, at the altar of God ready to make covenantal vows with God to spend their life in a triangulated relationship with God.

This wedding was not unique by today's standards but definitely not one with a nice standard liturgy in the United Methodist Book of Worship; there were children from a previous marriage and from this relationship that were entering into this covenant as well as to create a new family unit.

Elle as my Associate Pastor

I often wonder why our liturgies of the church haven't begun to wrestle with and embrace the shapes of families today and take on the task of updating our liturgical voice to fit. But this is a post for another day. On this day I want to share my thoughts about this:

This photo has lingered in my head long past the day the couple is to return from their beach bound honeymoon. There is something special about this picture. I am a firm believer that if you want a perfectly, well-choreographed wedding do not ask children to be involved. But if you want a wedding that is a representation of who you are, your loves and your passions, then you may end up with unpredictability. And this wedding wins.

At first glance you may think that this little girl either just really likes me or loves being the focus of attention but let me assure you, neither is true. She is what I love to call a "touch me not." She is unsure around many people other than her immediate family. She is slow to warm up to new people and even after a year she has yet to warm up to me and she retreats if she thinks others are watching. So why did she choose to stand next to me after dumping her bucket of petals in one solid lump at the feet of the bridesmaids? I think the answer is in her posture. I think we may see a hint of what her curly little head is thinking when you look at her placement. Her temperament is mirroring not the celebration as much as it is the seriousness of the moment.

This beautiful three-year-old little cherub is standing at attention; with pride and importance. She is standing as a facilitator for God and her parents. She appears to grasp exactly why we are here.

To compensate for the short-coming of standard liturgy, I often write in vows for the adults as parents in the new family and ask the children to respond. Elle took this time quite earnestly and then walked up and took her place with beside me, both at rehearsal and the ceremony. She stood there, uncharacteristically still sans wiggles and gazed upon her parents as they vowed to love each other and promise to create a family that would be a glory to God. She seemed to want to be where the "action" was happening; the place where God was in the midst of the moment. 


Why wouldn't you rather be where God is in the mix instead of on the side lines standing in uncomfortable shoes waiting to make a dash to the reception? Why wouldn't you want to be up where the "action" is taking place? She had a ring side seat to the formation of a new family in the sight of God!

God was at work at that moment. An unsuspecting bride and groom where standing in God's presence and He blessed this family in this moment! What an amazing process to witness up front and personally. How often are we willing to stand where we have been told or relegate ourselves to the furthest spot from God to because convention dictates? Maybe we need to learn to put ourselves in the midst of God's action. Do we miss the magnitude of a moment by getting lost in the duty of the day? 

Let little Elle teach us to make our way to where God is at work, stand and watch what He does in the moment and be ready for what comes our way!

I Am Being Disciplined!

"The reports of my death has been greatly exaggerated!" ~ Mark Twain

Truthfully I haven't heard anyone wondering if I have died but I have had many ask me if I quit blogging. Nope - didn't quit. I did, however, lose the discipline I had developed to blog each day; to hone my writing skills. What went wrong? Nothing wrong per se. Actually you could say somethings went right, school started and got two boys back in the classroom and out from underfoot, mainly. What threw me off the discipline train was a few bumps in the road; morning schedule change, some ministry matter and the return of meetings. All of these situations combine to make a big ball of excuses; not reasons. I really just needed to readjust each day to make time.

Why is blogging so important that I need to put it my daily priorities? I feel as though God is urging me to write; some thoughts, maybe a book. But I know that the big things begin with small disciplines.

Job would have never endured the hardships, his bumps in the road, had he not first developed a habit of glorifying God with his daily practices of piety? Moses spent daily time with God as he led God's chosen through the wilderness. God wants me to do what He wants me to do. I can't just skip that time because the time passes or the schedule changes. But I did; I do. 

Am I called then to throw in the towel, give up, chalk it up as another failure and wait until God tries to call me into something else? Oddly enough, that would be what I would usually do and more than likely I would. 

Why not this time? God won't let me off the hook on this one. so here I am back at it. If you read something that speaks to you, share it, comment below. Help me to continue to hone this skill, this calling God has laid upon me. 

God calls us all to spiritual disciplines; those things we do with disciplined regularity growing in God's grace as we give our life to God with intention. As we grow in discipline into those places God calls we we grow deeper roots which strengthen our tree of faith in God and His provision. 

What is God calling you to do as practice? Are you answering the call?

Are you disciplined in your practice?

Spiritual disciplines can range from study, fasting, prayer, visitation, reading scripture, chastity... you get the picture, those areas in our life God wants that we keep to ourselves. For me it is articulating God's truth shaping my life becoming my truth. 

What will it be for you?