Faithfulness of a Father

Maybe it was because I grew up not having a father or it was because I had an uncle that was like the father I always wanted, either way, I have always been fascinated by Joseph in the Bible. Not the technicolored dream coat Joseph but Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus.

As a child I would imagine what it would be like to have a dad, you know, the kind that took you to daddy-daughter dances, and would tuck you in at night, checking under the bed for monsters if need be. It wasn't as if I didn't have people that loved me; I most certainly did! Even as a child I understood the role of a father in a child's life. I understood enough to wonder what Jesus was like as a child and if he ever got spankings or sent to his room like me. I wondered what it was like to have to punish the Messiah? (secretly wishing I was special so I wouldn't get into trouble.)

As a new parent I would feel bad for poor Joseph. He all that work and trust in God that marrying a girl that was already with child by someone else was the right thing to do. All the night walking with a cholicy Jesus and then having to pull up stakes and flee to Egypt to escape a crazy ruler. I felt bad because he had no accolades in the Bible or even later in our faith. We hear songs, poems and books written about Mary. She is almost the star of the show in some faith traditions. Joseph is just the guy leading the camel to Bethlehem. Marrying not one but two great fathers, I feel that they often get left out.

What we see in Joseph is maybe what we should see  a little more of in ourselves, unwavering faith the God has a grand plan and that we aren't in it for the glory, well our glory. That God's glory will sustain us and provide for us. That evil may be around the corner but God will provide an escape route. That our reward comes in being with and living with God though eternity. 

So if you know a dad in your life, yours, or someone, take the time to tell them what a great job they are doing! And pray for more dads to find ways to be good earthly fathers raising God's children.

The World Will Not Change (Me)

The church shooting in Southerland, TX at the First Baptist Church rocked many of our emotional security. It seems as though we have barely begun to sort out the shooting here in Nashville at Burnette Chapel last month, then this. Although statistics tell us not to be afraid as such events are rare, according to Dallas Drake, criminologist. But do statistics make us feel safe? Are we afraid? Should we have fear?

Many people are afraid. As a pastor my trite answer could be to say, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but gives us power, love and self discipline." (2 Timothy 1:7) What I am afraid people hear when this scripture is thrown around is that you are weak and powerless if you are afraid. It is almost as if you are chided for not feeling bullet proof in the name of the Lord. That type pf interpretation leaves of feeling shameful and guilt ridden that we carry concern over those will ill intent towards us and our loved ones.

A friend of mine always says, "I am not afraid to die, I just don't want to do it right now." Knowing that in Christ we have eternity is an assurance that should ease our fear of death, but earthly ties like family, friends, ministries cause us to want to protect ourselves. It is natural to want to not die "right now." We are born with a natural need towards self preservation. 

That particular scripture is spoken to Timothy by Paul to remind Timothy that he may face persecution for speaking the Truth to those that have yet to hear but that we are to remember that the Spirit that lives within us defied the grave in Christ. That persecution should never cause us to hate but to continue to love all and everyone that God created and revere them as God would. However, the words "self-discipline" sets us back. If we contained all of the self-discipline in the world could we stop someone from coming in our church during worship and creating chaos?

Possibly. The opposite of "fear" is "trust". Where does trust come from? For us, practically speaking,  trust can come from our church leaders examining our daily practices of keeping watch over our people. Making safety plans, being aware and creating safe-guards. Spiritually our trust comes from knowing that God is present with us in these endeavors. The opposite of fear is trusting that once these plans are created we can use our self-discipline to follow a system to keep ourselves safe from harm.

In April of 1995 I was a the director of an early care and learning center at the Federal Aviation Administration Headquarters in Oklahoma City. Yes, we were the "other" federal daycare in Oklahoma City the day Timothy McVeigh placed a truck full of explosives in front of America's Kids Child Care in the Murrah Federal Building. Ten miles away we heard the explosion. It set off car alarms in our parking lot. In minutes we heard what happened yet still not knowing the target or the reason. 

The days and months to follow involved FBI guards, weekly bomb threats and evacuations, counselors for parents, children and staff. We had to be careful. We received the children from America's Kids that had been gone that day. I learned how to speak "law enforcement" and safety as I worked with the Department of Human Services and the FBI to make safety plans for daycares across Oklahoma. I eventually left the FFA facility to train and speak to other schools and centers across the United States.  

My mom said I was never a good victim and I found out what she meant as I look back on these days. I chose to not let fear take over and cripple me but to look to God to use His power and the self -discipline He was growing in me to squelch hate with love and assurance.

A year after the bombing Garth Brooks released a video called "The Change," with all of the proceeds going victims and their families. He was quoted as saying he waited a year so that it would be an anthem to those facing the trial of the bombers. Here are my favorite lines in the song:

As long as one heart still holds on

Then hope is never really gone

I hear them saying you will never change things

And no matter what you do it is still the same thing

But it is not the world I am changing

I do this so the world will know

It will not change me

Watch Garth's performance here*

On Sunday evening following the Southerland, TX shooting, I called a member of our church with a background in safety and protection and asked him to work with me to form a task force to assess the unsafe areas of our church. This is a task that should be done periodically with, or with out church shootings. We will then also look for ways to stay safe without living in fear or creating an atmosphere that is inhospitable. 

In the meantime:

Pray for the families of those that lost loved ones (1 Timothy 2:1)

Pray for the pastors near those churches as they attempt to bring comfort (Proverbs 3:5-7)

Pray for the shooters and their families ( Matthew 5:43-48)


*Trivia - At .48 into the Garth Brooks video you will se a small girl in a purple and white striped dress. That is my step-daughter Stephanie who was attending the YMCA child care center that was across the street and was demolished in the bombing as well. She is now a beautiful, grown, woman with four beautiful boys. God is good.

The Other Side

I think we all know that there are at least two sides to every story. In fact most people say there are three, yours, mine and the truth. My grandma would say there were four, your, mine, the truth and the side we let people see. I believe that is more accurate. 

I have a decorative cube in my office with cute sayings on each side. I bought it for one saying only, this one.

This reflects a side I am willing to show and use as an excuse for so many bad traits, forgetfulness, grumpiness, lethargy...you get the picture. There are many other sides to this cube. There are perfectly nice sayings such as: 

Smile
Save time see it my way
Nope, not today
Work for it
Chase ideas

I actually feel all of those sides many days. but I only show one. Why? To "say" to someone that they need to see it my way or that I don't have time for them today seems harsh even though both sentiments have run through my mind.  To ask someone to work for what they want from their pastor seems less that pastoral and frankly in a church that is highly engaged already to tell the broader audience to chase their dreams might be a bit overwhelming, although it is a great idea. And I rarely tell anyone to smile. It seems patronizing. So I put out the side I want people to see.

This in not a blog post about fake news or liberal/conservative media, What i am saying is take a moment to truly hear and consider what you see and read in the world. When you see someone doing or saying something you don't like, disagree with or are offended by ask yourself, "I wonder what their side to this story is?"

Lately, I have been faced with dealing with situations were there is a clear cut right and wrong. Unfortunately I have had the opportunity to face the "wrong" person. (Some other pastor must be getting to deal with the "wronged person.") At first glance I want to say - you were clearly wrong. You should be receiving the consequences you are receiving. But love (agape) forces me to look from their side at the issue. Suddenly compassion overtakes condemnation, understanding replaces umbrage.

That fourth side is the side that is shown to the world but underneath is a truth side that allows for compassion and reconciliation. The truth side is the hard side because you are forces to let go of your favorite side and the facade side and to actually admit to the truth. Truth erases blame, politics, doctrine, ideals. It is just the truth. But in that hard place of truth work can be done and right fighting can end. 

Maybe I will turn my cube around...  

From the Edge of the Pond - General Conferece Decisions Making

I have been asked by concerned members of my congregation to speak to what is happening at General Conference; some just interested, some worried about a schism and others with a vested interest in the LQBTQI issue on both sides of the argument.

Where I am from there is a saying, “Its hard to know what to do when you are standing in the middle of the pond with alligators nipping at your butt” meaning that it is easier to spot the problem when you are standing on the outside looking in. 

So here I am…standing on the outside looking in. I am not, nor desire to be a delegate to General Conference and I am a single pastor at a medium sized church that is richly invested in Kingdom work which is a pastoral way of saying I am too busy to hang on every moment of the live stream. I have enjoyed many of the worship services. I wanted to watch Bishop William McAlilly, my bishop, preside over the plenary session on Wednesday afternoon but that is when we have worship dance at church...busy. 

After seeing the comments later on social media about how Bishop McAlilly was treated and how the session went following council of bishops resolution and Adam Hamilton’s motion concerning that resolution I searched for more actual video footage but could find none. So I waited until later to watch the archived video of the live stream. Sigh, I went to the edge of the pond. Unlike many, I was not outraged that Bishop McAlilly was accused of “telegraphing votes with his hands.” In fact, I rewound and watched the entire clip focusing on his hands. I found it humorous that the telegraphing accusation was launched at all; a preaching Bishop that does what so many of us do, talk with his hands, is what I saw. I did see some fidgeting with his ink pen. Fidgeting born of being forced to sit still in front of many folks, guiding them in a movement toward God’s will.  Many of these folks did not appear to be seeking a consensus but more looking to have a decision made in accordance with their desire. While it is an attack on his personal integrity that he would do such a thing as telegraph votes, it more ludicrous that someone actually thought he had. I dare any preacher or speaker to sit up there and not wave a hand or two.

Later in the session when Bishop McAlilly was asked to step down due to the bias he was projecting. I was not angry but perplexed. Once again, I rewound the clip to that portion only to find a man, humbly navigating a stilted process through a sea of high passion. Some say it was his race (caucasian), some say it was his gender (male) and some say it was his tell-tale accent, (he is a Mississippi man) that tipped people off to his bias. I fear it was the cloudy glasses through which he was viewed that gave the opinion of bias. Yes, here in the South we have people that are hopefully awaiting a vote in the favor of LGBTQI individuals and some of them are white males. Many of them as well as those not hoping for said outcome felt our Bishop was unfairly labeled. 

But standing on the edge of the pond, watching from the sidelines, what I mostly saw; clearly viewing from my comfortable seat on the couch was a desire by commenters to reach their individual desires, no matter the cost. Even if it meant for a Bishop to be asked to step down for the first time since the 1800s.

Almost every point of order, question or motion was rooted in being done! Finished! Winning! I love doneness. I am a fan of a clear, direct path towards a specific destination. By nature I am not a wanderer allowing my path be decided by any outside force. I am not prone to delight in process but love to celebrate in the finished product. But my limited understanding of God is that God is a God of journeys. How many times in scripture has God’s people been set on a course of movement, yet given ample time to wander. The wandering is a learning and shaping time. Yes, we have been wandering on the sexuality issue for a number of years; since 2004 as a formal conversation at General Conference. A mere 12 years; but a long time for those waiting, worrying and hurting. I get it. I have friends and loved ones hurt by the slowness of the church and its people over this very issue.

What I see in  people pushing to decide, to vote immediately remind me of the wanderers in the desert when Moses was on the mountain.

   "Ok, Moses. We will follow you. Guide us. We know you hear from God." 

     But then...

    “We want ‘it’ now, Aaron. We need a god. Build us a calf. Quick here’s my bracelet.” 

We asked those chosen, anointed and called to lead, Bishops to do that... guide and lead. They did. They are asking for time to hear, discern. We will still be moving. Just the specific destination is unseen and in the distance. From my sideline point of view, the simple answer I see is to keep moving forward, in discourse and discernment. Yes, people will still be worrying, waiting and possibly even hurting while we wander. But we will not be wandering without purpose. All the while we wander we will be headed toward God’s Promise for us as the Church; Christ’s Church and what a powerful witness that will be.

NOTE:

“The Council of Bishops asked General Conference to delay a debate on homosexuality at this gathering of the denomination’s top legislative assembly until a proposed commission can study church regulations. Instead, the bishops asked for the body’s permission to name a special commission that would completely examine and possibly recommend revisions of every paragraph in The Book of Discipline related to human sexuality. The commission would represent the different regions of a denomination on four continents as well as the varied perspectives of the church.”

The archived plenary session referenced:

https://youtu.be/DV0cCNy5y1Y

The Council of Bishop's recommendation for hold on sexuality debate :

http://s3.amazonaws.com/Website_Properties/general-conference/2016/dca/gc2016-daily-christian-advocate-051916.pdf

A UMReporter Podcast Recap:

http://unitedmethodistreporter.com/2016/05/19/umreporter-roundtable-episode-008-5182016/

Snowy Worship at Home 1-24-16

What do you do when we cancel church? Well Amelia gave me inspiration. You worship at home together.  Her is how she worships. She danes ALL the big girl dances for Micah and Jill.

Surely we can do as well or better than a two year old.

Follow the links below and enjoy Homestead Worship

Welcome and Instructions

Music of Praise

Enjoy!

Please listen to the words as you enjoy the dancers

Sr. Dancers Come as You Are

The Word and Message

Relationships with "The Other"

Let Us Pray

Closing Music

If We Are the Body

Pure Praise

5 Practical Fasting Tips This Season

Fasting is expected of Christians. Christ said..."when you fast...", not if. But fasting a an opportunity to be humble in the presence of God, intensify your prayer life, and hopefully receive guidance from God. The hardest part of fasting is the discipline of fasting, especially during holiday seasons. Our Bishop, William McAllilly, has asked us to pray and fast during Advent and beyond leading up to Jurisdictional and Annual Conference. Being the practical sort I thought it might be helpful to offer 5 Practical Fasting Tips!

1. To fend off morning hunger clean out your sink after one of your teen age boys dumped his partially eaten, CocoaPebbles and milk in the stock pot you left soaking. You will not be hungry at all, trust me. And pray offering God your obedience. 









2. Drink copious amounts of water. Water will fill your belly and keep you from feeling hungry. Also, the increased trips to the restroom will keep you busy and your mind off of food. And pray thanking God for two good legs to make all of those trips.











3. Don't keep snacks in your desk drawer. Trust me...just don't. And pray asking God for strength in your journey.  






4. Make a point to NOT visit that one friend that always eats flavorful foods and then has issues with respecting your personal space. Smelling garlic on their breath can be tough. And pray asking God for solace.

5. Buy an English Bulldog. English Bulldogs insist on being walked...A LOT. They are also high targets for theft so you can't just let them outside. Bulldogs are also smart. They will trick you into thinking they need to go. So out you go. You will be tied up all day with your dog. Thank God that your life allows you to have pets, and that you can feed them and yourself when so many others can't. 

Seriously, fasting is never easy. It isn't supposed to be. But with God you will be able to fast. That is the point; reliance on God, obedience to God and submission to God.  

Disclaimer: All of these tips are silly except for the praying tips. They may or may not be actual circumstances in my fasting life. Happy Advent. #dohardthings 

The Terror of Division

Yesterday I wrote a post on Facebook regarding my feelings about the latest college shooting. As a rule I keep my posts light. I am not certain that social media is a place to try to be a change agent. So I post pictures of AnnaBelle. I mean really, who doesn’t love a great picture of a cleft lip bulldog puppy. 

But I felt as though I needed to say something in reference to yet another mass murder in our country. So I posted this:

But following is what I really wanted to say. It was buried so deeply within my heart that I could’t get the words to bubble up to my fingers and type them into my blog. But I feel as though in an effort to move forward I need to extract these words.

April 19th marked the 20th anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing; the largest act of terrorism on American soil by an American. On that day I realized something profound but I didn’t have a voice to speak my heart. 

Four years later, in a suburb of Denver Colorado the first act of terrorism in a school that made national headlines happened at Columbine High School. Twelve student were murdered. I consider this an act of terrorism because as I place myself inside that school I am certain I feel terror.

Since those two turning points in American history we have had a plethora of terrorism hit America. Most of which has been perpetrated by other Americans. Not just guns were used to kill. Let be clear, I don’t love guns personally. The power of a firearm frightens me and I have no desire to carry a gun but I have a son that hunts, shoots on a pistol and trap shooting team and sees a future in law enforcement. I am thankful he is responsible with a firearm. Bombs have not been the favored choice of murder nor has airplanes colliding into buildings.

The biggest weapon utilized in terrorism is a divisive spirit; you against me, them against us, I am right and you are wrong. When extreme sides are formed on any issue the wall built obstructs any opportunity for discourse. In Proverbs 18:13 we read, “He who answers before listening – that is his folly and his shame.” Earlier in this same chapter there is a pointed evaluation of those who would rather talk than listen: “A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions” (18:2). In the New Testament, James 1:19 says “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger:” St Francis of Assisi stated “grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand.” 

Mental health issues not with standing, most conflicts can be resolved with conversation. Unfortunately today even within my own clergy/religious ranks I see far too many lines drawn in the sand. What we are saying to the unbelieving word is, “We can’t agree on what God calls us to do and who to be, so clearly we are not qualified to impart any reliable wisdom for you.” What the “Other Believing” world (other religions) see in our broken discourse is that we have no idea of what the Truth is from Our Creator. I can't even imagine what those who have lost hope in Faith see in our actions toward each other. 

I remember a time when my mother didn’t like the current president. I only know this because she told me who she voted for and why. But when, at the brilliant age of 17, I bashed the winner, Jimmy Carter, my mother immediate stopped me and explained that President Carter was elected by a fair vote of the people and as the elected president he deserved my respect. If I was truly unhappy I should vote accordingly in the next election when I was of age.  I learned something that day. My mom taught me that unity is more important that being “right.” That respect is a gift we give and gifts aren't earned. She taught me that learning about both sides of any issue or electoral candidate helped me understand decisions and processes. It also helped me tolerate life when it didn’t go my way.

What I have watched happen in our country in politics, religion, industry and even relationships is that we humans are more vested in being right that we are in being righteous. We are not at all interested in working together and understanding others unless the other is just like us unthinking and otherwise. We waste no time in learning all sides about an issue or even learning the truth of an issue. We are quick to "re-post" anything that we read that confirms our position, truthful or not. Even talk show psychiatrist, Dr. Phil knows, "no matter how thin you make a pancake, there are still two sides."

When we no longer see similarities on others we place them in a category that no longer matters to us. When lives no longer matter, we can bully, hate, revile, and yes, even kill those that no longer matter.

I don’t like everybody and don’t agree with many but I try my best to see all sides and love even those that make no sense to me. I don’t reduce others to labels or categories. But I can’t do it on my own. I am limited by my humanity to love others, to see other positions or beliefs. But I know this, I don’t have to be divided from those in which I don’t agree with. God can and will fill the gap. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 teaches us that two are better than one. There are strength in unity and the cord is most strong when the Divine Third strand is woven within. Unity is the only thing that can bridge the divisive sprit of terror.