The World Will Not Change (Me)

The church shooting in Southerland, TX at the First Baptist Church rocked many of our emotional security. It seems as though we have barely begun to sort out the shooting here in Nashville at Burnette Chapel last month, then this. Although statistics tell us not to be afraid as such events are rare, according to Dallas Drake, criminologist. But do statistics make us feel safe? Are we afraid? Should we have fear?

Many people are afraid. As a pastor my trite answer could be to say, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but gives us power, love and self discipline." (2 Timothy 1:7) What I am afraid people hear when this scripture is thrown around is that you are weak and powerless if you are afraid. It is almost as if you are chided for not feeling bullet proof in the name of the Lord. That type pf interpretation leaves of feeling shameful and guilt ridden that we carry concern over those will ill intent towards us and our loved ones.

A friend of mine always says, "I am not afraid to die, I just don't want to do it right now." Knowing that in Christ we have eternity is an assurance that should ease our fear of death, but earthly ties like family, friends, ministries cause us to want to protect ourselves. It is natural to want to not die "right now." We are born with a natural need towards self preservation. 

That particular scripture is spoken to Timothy by Paul to remind Timothy that he may face persecution for speaking the Truth to those that have yet to hear but that we are to remember that the Spirit that lives within us defied the grave in Christ. That persecution should never cause us to hate but to continue to love all and everyone that God created and revere them as God would. However, the words "self-discipline" sets us back. If we contained all of the self-discipline in the world could we stop someone from coming in our church during worship and creating chaos?

Possibly. The opposite of "fear" is "trust". Where does trust come from? For us, practically speaking,  trust can come from our church leaders examining our daily practices of keeping watch over our people. Making safety plans, being aware and creating safe-guards. Spiritually our trust comes from knowing that God is present with us in these endeavors. The opposite of fear is trusting that once these plans are created we can use our self-discipline to follow a system to keep ourselves safe from harm.

In April of 1995 I was a the director of an early care and learning center at the Federal Aviation Administration Headquarters in Oklahoma City. Yes, we were the "other" federal daycare in Oklahoma City the day Timothy McVeigh placed a truck full of explosives in front of America's Kids Child Care in the Murrah Federal Building. Ten miles away we heard the explosion. It set off car alarms in our parking lot. In minutes we heard what happened yet still not knowing the target or the reason. 

The days and months to follow involved FBI guards, weekly bomb threats and evacuations, counselors for parents, children and staff. We had to be careful. We received the children from America's Kids that had been gone that day. I learned how to speak "law enforcement" and safety as I worked with the Department of Human Services and the FBI to make safety plans for daycares across Oklahoma. I eventually left the FFA facility to train and speak to other schools and centers across the United States.  

My mom said I was never a good victim and I found out what she meant as I look back on these days. I chose to not let fear take over and cripple me but to look to God to use His power and the self -discipline He was growing in me to squelch hate with love and assurance.

A year after the bombing Garth Brooks released a video called "The Change," with all of the proceeds going victims and their families. He was quoted as saying he waited a year so that it would be an anthem to those facing the trial of the bombers. Here are my favorite lines in the song:

As long as one heart still holds on

Then hope is never really gone

I hear them saying you will never change things

And no matter what you do it is still the same thing

But it is not the world I am changing

I do this so the world will know

It will not change me

Watch Garth's performance here*

On Sunday evening following the Southerland, TX shooting, I called a member of our church with a background in safety and protection and asked him to work with me to form a task force to assess the unsafe areas of our church. This is a task that should be done periodically with, or with out church shootings. We will then also look for ways to stay safe without living in fear or creating an atmosphere that is inhospitable. 

In the meantime:

Pray for the families of those that lost loved ones (1 Timothy 2:1)

Pray for the pastors near those churches as they attempt to bring comfort (Proverbs 3:5-7)

Pray for the shooters and their families ( Matthew 5:43-48)


*Trivia - At .48 into the Garth Brooks video you will se a small girl in a purple and white striped dress. That is my step-daughter Stephanie who was attending the YMCA child care center that was across the street and was demolished in the bombing as well. She is now a beautiful, grown, woman with four beautiful boys. God is good.